Gender and Sexism in English

I really dislike sexism in language. Sadly, when the debate of sexism in English is raised with some people, the phrase "political correctness gone mad" is often heard. References to "political correctness" and criticism of non-sexist language can often be seen in the conservative British press. But I think sexism in language is an important issue as many biased words are used, and continue to be used, while parallel male and female words such as master/mistress, boy/girl and even man/woman are used so often in a non-parallel manner. These unequal uses highlight sexism in society and can often place men and women in different positions within society.

Linguist Robin Lakoff noted non-parallel usage of equivalent gendered words in the 1970s in her groundbreaking book Language and Woman's Place, yet even in 2009 many of the non-symmetrical uses of gendered words are still common in both written and spoken English.

A man or boy can be told to "be a man", yet is a woman or girl ever told to "be a woman"? Even nowadays, woman is not equal in usage to man, and it appears that many people find the word impolite in certain contexts, at least since the earlier twentieth century.

A good example of non-parallel use of parallel words are gentleman and lady. Although both can be used in a polite and/or formal setting ie. "this lady has an appointment at 2.00"/"this gentleman has an appointment at 2.00", this is one of only a few parallel examples. Because of people being uncomfortable with the word woman, lady is used much more frequently than its male equivalent and is used to refer to a woman when a man would be referred to as a man. Someone might say, for instance, "she's a nice lady", but when referring to a man they would say "he's a nice man", or possibly "guy", "fellow" or in British English, "chap". It is also obvious here that more words exist to describe men than words to describe women.

How many times do people say that someone is a "real gentleman"? Compare this with the amount of times people would say someone is a "real lady". Lady has to some extent, lost its higher-class and noble associations that gentleman still retains. Generally, it seems that in many contexts a man has to behave in a specific way to be called a gentleman but a woman doesn't have to behave in a specific way to be called a lady. In the United States lady can be used as a sarcastic form of address as in "hey, lady" but a speaker would never say "hey gentleman" if addressing a man in the same context.

I can't see why so may people are still afraid to use the word woman? Does it still have negative connotations that Lakoff noted in the 1970s? I've noticed toilet signs that read "mens" and "ladies" and have also seen a number of gyms whose signs read ladies only. I think these examples show that some people are still uncomfortable with the word woman. But it seems to me that people treat woman like it is a "bad word".

I've heard both female and male bouncers at night clubs call women "ladies", but men are not "gentlemen" or "gents", but most likely "guys", or in the UK at least "lads", a term that I will discuss later.

I also often hear younger women being referred to as "girls" but younger men are hardly ever referred to as "boys". These are some exceptions, such as calling a group of men "boys". I can remember a BBC programme in the late 90s called "Jobs for the Boys" featuring comedians Hale and Pace - there was also "Jobs for the Girls" featuring Birds of a Feather stars Pauline Quirke and Linda Robson. This is an equal use of boys/girls and it is OK - it is the non-parallel uses I have mentioned that really get on my nerves. But in many cases men are still not called "boys", in the UK the informal term lads seems more frequently used and boys themselves are often called "lads" by many people.

When I briefly worked in a City Learning Centre, groups of girls were addressed as girls but groups of boys were always called lads. Personally, I prefer the word boys and I can't see why people often choose lads rather than boys - perhaps it is social class in Britain has played a part in the choice between lads and boys? The famous Salford Lads Club near Manchester has a sign on the one side reading"Salford Lads and Girls Club", which has been its official name for many years. The real equivalent to lad, however, is lass, which is often only used in Scottish or Northern/North-Eastern English dialects. Also, the "lad culture" of the 1990s increased to the word lads being used more, and "lads mags" continue to be popular publications. But obviously these magazines are something I would not touch with a bargepole.

Other unequal uses of parallel words can be seen in the word bachelor, which has positive connotations but its female equivalent spinster is very negative and outdated. Bachelor is also sometimes used incorrectly to refer to a divorced or widowed man, when divorce and widower are the right words. I seems that it is too negative in society for a man to be divorced or widowed - but language use shows this is not the same for divorced or widowed women.

In particular, widower is not used as frequently as its female counterpart - many newspapers continue to refer to the surviving spouse of a woman as a "husband", yet a man's surviving spouse is often referred to as "his widow" in the press and magazines, something that goes back to the era when women were defined by their relationship to men, another example being the archaic-sounding "Mrs Jack Jones" etc. Also, mistress became the term for a married man's lover while master has fully retained its original meaning. I am unsure, though, if mistress is gradually being replaced by the more equal-sounding lover.